Hiring a domestic violence defense lawyer is not an admission of guilt. It is simply the best and most important step to take to defend yourself against false accusations. There will likely be a lot of hearsay, and it is important to remember that your attorney will gather evidence from the alleged event and obtain experts to testify on your behalf.
Following an accusation of any kind, your character is likely being questioned. Your attorney will want to speak with anyone who knows your nature and who would speak to who you are as a person. Your attorney will also want to gather information for any witnesses of the event. This might include children or other family members. They should be prepared and understand that they might be contacted as a witness throughout the court case.
This can often be the hardest part for many who stand accused. After all, it is likely that you love the other person and still care deeply for them. But, if they have falsely accused you of domestic violence, they might use anything you say against you later on. It is best to refrain from contacting your accuser as much as possible to prevent further fights and words that can be misconstrued or used to hurt your case.